


Destiel

by deancas_itsmylife



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel's Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Declarations Of Love, Embarrassed Dean Winchester, Emotional, Fluff, Happy Ending, Heaven, Hospitals, Hunter Dean Winchester, Hunter Sam Winchester, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Mild Hurt/Comfort, My First Fanfic, Supportive Sam Winchester, Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 16:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21057233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deancas_itsmylife/pseuds/deancas_itsmylife
Summary: The story takes place at the time when Castiel and the brothers come back from a hunt. They all got hurt but Castiel is the worst wounded. He still has to struggle with the aftermath. Dean tries to support him.





	1. Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> For all Destiel shippers.. :)
> 
> This is my very first fanfiction and I really hope you guys like it. It's a very simple story and nothing extraordinary.  
In itself, no spoilers are provided. If so, I'm sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean thinks about Castiel

* * *

After putting the blanket back on Castiel and going back to the table, the brothers looked at the sleepy angel.

„_He looks so tired_“, Dean thought by himself, „_not as cheerful and agile as before. But which one of us has stayed the way we were? At some point, life comes intervening for everyone._  
_Poor guy... How I‘d like to take him in my arms now and hold him until the last bit of sadness has disappeared. But how would Cas react and most of all – what would Sam say?_“

„Man, are you even listening to me?“, said Sam.  
In surprise, Dean looked at him. When did Sam say something and how long did he stared at Cas?

„What?“, asked Dean. Cas seemed to have fallen asleep by now, so Dean implied they needed to keep their voices down.

A little disappointed but not really angry, Sam said: „I don't know where you've been with your mind, but I thought we should all go to sleep. And Cas shouldn‘t have to sit all the time!“

„Mmmh“, Dean just did, looking embarrassed at the table.  
„All right“, Sam said and stood up, „whatever makes you brood, makes you silent. I will now go to my room. Good night!“

„Good night!“

As soon as Sam was out of audibility, Castiel made himself be noticed. Dean, who was still thinking, looked up.

„Dean“, Castiel said in a low voice, „I‘d like to go to bed, would you help me, please? I don‘t know if I could make it on my own?!“

„Course. Wait a sec...“ Dean got up and walked over to the chair Castiel was sitting in. He grabbed Castiel's upper arm with his left hand and then maneuvered him into a standing position. After Dean put his right arm around Castiel's shoulders, they began the journey into Castiel's room.

Once there, Dean let go of Castiel's upper arm to turn on the light. Castiel now fell completely against him, which caused a well-known but very confusing tingling sensation in Dean. Dean couldn't get the light to turn on the first time he tried it.

Castiel, who noticed that, mumbled: „I‘m sorry. I‘ll do the rest myself.“

„No, nonsense. I‘ll help you, I just got a little scared.“ He smiled at the angel but turned away quickly, embarassed by his blushing and afraid that Castiel might see it.  
Castiel said nothing more and had himself taken to his bed.

Gently, Dean helped him sit down. Hardly sitting, Castiel tried to take off his trench coat, which he couldn't do well due to his weakened body. Dean helped him.  
Castiel also had his jacket taken off. But when Dean tried to open his belt, he backed away as far as he could.

„Without belt and trousers you‘ll sleep better, Cas.“

„It‘s okay, Dean!“ The almost shy look Castiel gave him made Dean's body even warmer inside.  
„_Why_“, he thought, „_why do I always react to him like that?_“

„Dean, can you tuck me in?“, Castiel asked. Hastily Dean buried his thought. He covered Cas and switched on the bedside light. That would be much more muted than the bright ceiling light. Dean had already observed several times that when Cas was sleeping, he always turned on this light.  
„_I'm sure he won't feel so lonely in the dark then_“, he thought to himself.

Castiel, who had almost fallen asleep, lay down a little more comfortably.  
„_He looks so endlessly tired_“, Dean thought and just like Castiel used to do it to him to comfort him or show him he wasn't alone, Dean put his right hand on Castiel's left shoulder.  
Sighing softly, Castiel leaned against Dean's hand.

He took it away gently and looked at the sleeping angel.  
Dean thought he saw how the other man's face had relaxed a little. He smiled tiredly, turned around, went to the switch and turned off the ceiling light.

In the doorway, he turned around again.  
Castiel seemed to be dreaming, because he took a deep breath once, cramped a little, but then calmed down again.

When closing the door Dean heard Castiel whisper quietly:  
„**It‘d be okay, Dean!**“

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter..  
My first fanfic so if you like, leave a comment. Thank you!!


	2. Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean woke up in the middle of the night. He could have sworn there's a noise..

* * *

In the middle of the night, Dean woke up. He could have sworn he heard a scratch in the hallway outside his room.   
He sat down and listened. Yes, there it was again. It sounded like steps.

Now wide awake, he stood up and made his way to the door. In the bunker it was quiet, only the noises of some machines, which also ran over night, were to be heard.   
Dean avoided turning on the lights. Whatever stood outside his door didn't need to know that the room was occupied.

„_Actually stupid_“, he thought, „_every being can somehow feel that I'm here._“

At the door, he took a deep breath. For some reason, his pulse had been speeding up. With the intention to attack immediately, he opened the door... and collided with a figure.

The faint night lighting in the hallway seemed like glistening light to Dean. His eyes were still used to the darkness of his room. On closer inspection of the figure, however, he knew immediately who it was.

„_This fuzzy hair_“, he thought and immediately noticed the tingling and inner warmth returning. „_Arrgh, I‘m gonna go crazy!_“

„Cas?“ Inquiring Dean looked in the direction of the angel.

„Hello Dean“, Castiel said.

„Man, what are you doin here? Something happened?“

„I can‘t sleep. I had nightmares, I‘m in pain and I was lonely.“

„Then why did you come here of all places? I‘m unable to help you, you know that!“

„_Man, how stupid of me_“, Dean thought, „_he lookes so sad. He never talks about anything like that and now that he needs help, I push him away!_“

Sadly, Castiel looked at the older Winchester. „Okay, then I‘ll take my leave. Good night, Dean.“

Castiel turned around and wanted to go away. Dean noticed that, grabbed him and pulled him in. He wrapped both arms around the slightly smaller man and Castiel, almost grateful, let himself sink against Dean. They stayed like this for a while.

Then Dean thought: „_Sam's at home as well, not that he heard the footsteps too, and is about to pass by._“   
He wasn't embarrassed, as he had always thought, but wanted to have this moment to himself. The three of them live here and everyone had their own room, but sometimes it was still too much closeness for Dean. Even when the door was closed, he sometimes had the feeling that the others would notice everything.

„Dean“, Castiel asked, face leaned against Dean's neck, „is everything all right?“

„Why?“

„Your heart's beating faster!“ Now that Castiel was talking about it, Dean realized that his heartbeat had actually quickened and he got warmer again.

„Yeah, it‘s all fine“, Dean murmured and held Castiel a little tighter as he already had. Then he let go of him and gently took him into his room.

„What are you doin?“ Castiel asked in a low voice, a little bit confused about the sudden loss of contact.

„Sshhh“, Dean made and closed the door.  
Now fully surrounded by darkness again, Dean groped his way forward until he touched Castiel's arm.   
„Come with me“, he said, reaching for the angel. Castiel, surprised by this action, let himself be dragged along without resistance.

When Dean got to the bed, he crawled in first and suggested Castiel to follow him. Castiel lay down with him and turned to the right side. Dean lay behind him and wrapped both arms around Castiel. Castiel cuddled up even closer to him, bringing a smile to Dean's face. He raised his head and gave Castiel a kiss on the neck near where his ear was. Castiel made a noise that sounded like the purring of a cat. Dean pulled him in even closer.

„Sleep now, my angel“, Dean whispered in Castiel‘s ear.

He lay back and listened into himself. For the first time in a very long time he noticed that a certain calm spreading through him. Like he finally found his safe haven. He was happy!

„Dean?“, Castiel asked quietly after a short time.

„Yeah“, Dean answered with the same quiet voice.

„I said it‘d be okay!“

With a smile on their faces they both finally fell asleep.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter..  
If you like, leave a comment! Thank you!!


	3. Waking up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wakes up after a peaceful night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again.. I'm sorry it took me so long to upgrade this story. I had a stressful time lately and somehow my brain stopped to give me ideas.  
But finally I could continue to write and will upload chapter 3, 4 & 5. Enjoy!  
And as always.. I would be glad about a review.. Thank you!! <3

* * *

When Dean woke up, he was lying on his back, but had one in his right arm. At first he was scared, but then he smiled. He turned to the right side and put his left arm around Castiel again.

The angel still slept peacefully. Dean snuggled up to him, buried his face in Castiel's neck and took a deep breath.  
Castiel had always smelled like heaven to him. A hint of cinnamon was with him. Dean still liked cinnamon, even though it made him a little sad. It reminded him of his mother somehow.

He snuggled up a little closer to Castiel and decided to lie down and fall asleep again. It was Sunday and they didn't have a case to deal with, so it wouldn't be a big deal if he didn't get up at 8:00, but at 10:00.

About three hours later, Dean woke up again. Still a bit tired, but much more rested and calmer than usual, he sat down. He had to smile when he thought of the night. It was so completely different to fall asleep with someone. For years Dean had been alone, except for the one-night stands. Yes, he had had girlfriends once, but none had ever been like Castiel.

Then Dean stumbled mentally: _"How could I now sit up without any problems if Cas was still there earlier?"_  
He turned on the lights and found that Castiel was no longer with him.

Hastily he put on his jogging pants and changed his T-shirt. Then he ran into the kitchen hoping to find Castiel there.  
He stopped in the door.  
Sam and Castiel sat at the table. He looked at his brother, Castiel sat with his back to him. In any case, Sam looked more well rested than usual. That was probably because Dean hadn't been fiddling around in the kitchen so early in the morning. Sam must have taken the chance to sleep a few more hours as well.

When he noticed a movement in the door frame, he looked directly at Dean. Castiel, who was hanging over a cup of coffee himself and apparently didn't know whether to drink it or not, noticed that Sam had stopped eating. The angel looked up from his coffee and saw that Sam's eyes were on the door. He turned around and saw Dean standing there.

"_Oh no"_, Dean thought, "_I hope Cas didn't say anything! I'd like to talk to Sam myself when the time is right."_  
As if Castiel had guessed his thoughts, he barely shook his head. Dean saw this as a sign that Castiel hadn't mentioned anything to his brother.

Sam, who was used to these long glances between Dean and Castiel, had noticed that there was a certain tension in the air. He saw that Dean had tightened his jaw. A gesture indicating that his brother was either excited or scared.

"_Such an idiot_", Sam thought, "_as if I hadn't noticed."_  
"Mornin‘, Sleeping Beauty", he shouted a little too loud. Dean, slightly startled, released Castiel's gaze.  
"Yeah, yeah, very funny..", he mumbled, "Mornin‘!"

* * *


	4. What happens in private, stays there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silent confession and understanding...

* * *

Two weeks later, Dean and Sam were alone on a case. They were in Ohio and had booked a room in a motel. Since the case, a vampire nest, could be solved without major problems, the brothers were in good shape and had only minor scratches. Since Sam was in a good mood and they were both slightly drunk, Dean had actually decided to tell his brother what was really going on with him and Castiel.

Nothing had happened between him and the angel yet. Except for the seven nights Castiel had spent with Dean, when they fell asleep only cuddling together.  
Dean could imagine more and wished for it. Only he didn't know how Cas would react. Also otherwise it was very relaxed. When Dean and Castiel were alone, they hardly talked. Castiel never talk much anyway, but the silence was not unpleasant. On the contrary, it felt good and calming.

Now, however, he and Sam were sitting in a small, slightly older roadhouse in the immediate vicinity of their motel. So they could walk back afterwards.

Dean had been quiet the whole time and thought about how he could start without scaring his brother.  
Sam was also wondering how he could approach his brother on this subject without perhaps upsetting him.

At some point, it got too much for Sam.  
„Dean, is there anything you want to tell me or what you want to talk about?“  
„_Great_“, he thought, „_now I sound like a shrink too!_“  
„I...“, Dean cleared his throat, „I don't know. There might be something there, but... Oh, I don't know!“

Sam thought it was a little funny how his big brother was hopping around. He decided to tease him a little.  
„Oh Dean, are you getting a cold?“  
„No.“  
„Are you going to be a father?“  
„What? No, what makes you think that?“  
„Well, I don't know, it occurred to me...“ For a moment they were silent again. To help Dean a little bit, Sam said: „I got it, you're in love?!“  
Dean looked up hastily and immediately regretted it. There was something knowing in Sam's eyes and that made him blush.  
„_Damn!_“, Dean thought. Actually he knew his brother well, but at that moment he couldn't evaluate him. He was really afraid of losing his brother.  
Sam must have seen this because his features were softening. Secretly, he had even been happy to see his brother so anxious for a moment. It was something Dean never allowed himself to do.  
That Dean didn't dare take the last step could be explained by their raising. But their father was no longer with them, so…

„Dean, listen“, Sam said with a slight smile, „calm down, I know! If you don't want to admit it to me yet, that's okay. It's always a bit weird at first to admit that you're in love. That changes a lot... You and Cas“, Sam took a short break, „it was clear from the beginning that there was something else besides friendship. I am happy for you. If it makes you happy, I am happy too.  
That night, I also heard Cas and hoped that at least one of you would make the move. When your door closed and I heard no footsteps going back, I was overjoyed. I don't want to know what you are doing behind closed doors. What happens in private, stays there.  
I just want you to be happy. You don't have to be afraid of me. I still love you, Dean!“

Sam was briefly shocked by what Dean always said was a chick-flick moment.  
He had changed sides on Dean's table during his short 'speech' and was now gently pounding his brother in the side.

Dean, who apparently hadn't noticed Sam's change of seat, was a little frightened. He looked at Sam and Sam could see a slight shimmer in his brother's eyes.  
„Thank you!“, Dean said with a husky voice. „And I love you too, Sammy!“

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slight warning.. Next chapter could be a little sad one.. :)


	5. Questions and...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel both have questions but...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be a little bit sad.. :)

* * *

Castiel had called the brothers the same night and announced that he would go back to heaven for some time. Dean was afraid of this announcement becuase he was afraid that Cas would go because of him.  
Like Castiel suspected it, he asked Sam, on whose phone he called, to turn off the speaker and give it to Dean.  
Sam passed the phone to his brother and, after muttering something about 'getting some fresh air', disappeared outside with a smile on his face.

„What's up, Cas?“, Dean asked a little unsure, „I'll be alone for a minute.“  
„Dean, my leave has nothing to do with you personally or our relationship directly. Please don't think that!“  
„Okay...“  
„Dean, please, I just want to be alone for a while. Clarifying some things for me, thinking about some things."  
„Why, Cas? Do you think I don't have any questions, don't worry? Cas... You dominate my whole daily routine recently. Not that it was different before, but much more intense now.  
I miss you, I worry terribly when you are not there. The only nights that I can really sleep are the nights that you are with me!“  
Dean was silent for a moment, but then said almost begging: „Cas, please, let's settle these questions together. I don't want to lose you before it even starts! ... Cas? Cas, are you still there?“  
Dean waited a second, then hung up.

„_Oh god_“, Dean thought, „_I'm glad Sam's not here. He would hold that against me forever._“

Dean wasn't feeling well. All of a sudden he felt tired and very lonely and cold.  
He put Sam's phone on his bed and lay down in his. Normally he didn't like it at all when Sam wasn't there, but he just didn't care then.

He turned to the right. Since Castiel shared the bed with him from time to time, this had become his new sleeping position. He felt a little closer to Castiel as he lay down like that now. But that only made him sadder at the same time too.  
„_Why always me? Why can't I have a little bit of luck one day?_“  
At some point, Sam was still not there, he fell asleep after all.

Dean and Sam were on their way.  
Sam had managed with effort and patience to persuade Dean to take a look at the case.  
It might have been strange for both of them to have read the name of the place. Lawrence, Kansas.  
On a field there (partly completely) burnt bodies had been found.

When the brothers arrived, the police had already locked everything off. Dean and Sam identified themselves as FBI and after Dep. Harvelle had allowed them they‘d pass under the barrier.

They looked at every dead person, but couldn't say exactly what had happened here. When they arrived by the last corpse, Sam discovered something small black on the floor.

He squatted down to take a closer look.  
'Deans top 13 Zepp Traxx' was written on it. Incredulously he turned around.  
„Dean... What's that?“  
Dean came closer and looked at the object in Sam's hand.  
„_No!_“, he thought in panic. „_That can't be!_“  
With all the strength he could bring up, he looked at his little brother.  
„Bye, Sammy!“, said Dean and stormed away.

„Dean. Dean! Wake up!“ Sam shook his brother.  
In panic and still half sleeping, Dean looked around. But he could only see Sam in the dimly lit room.  
„Dude, what is wrong with you? You were shakin‘ and talkin‘ some weird stuff. Bad dream?“

With heart racing, but a great relief that it had actually been only a dream, he said quietly:  
„Yes, Sam, just a real bad dream. I‘m going back to sleep now.“  
With these words he turned away from his brother and closed his eyes.

After a while and when he was sure that Dean was asleep again, Sam went back to his own bed.  
„_What happend in this phone call?_“, he asked himself before he faded of to sleep.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I didn't want to write this end. I wanted to let the chapter end with "Bye, Sammy!" but I couldn't get it over my heart! 
> 
> Chapter 6 won't be like this one, I promise! :D


	6. Giving up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said this chapter will be different...

* * *

Three weeks later, Castiel still hadn't made contact.

While Sam continued to live life, searching for cases, researching, and yes, even going out for the evening, Dean was slowly but surely going crazy.  
He had nightmares almost every night, keeping him awake. So to forget his pain, he started drinking more. And even though he knew it wouldn't end well in the long run, he couldn't stop. He was sure that he had to look like the last rascal and probably smelled like one.

Dean could tolerate comparatively much alcohol, but this time he had overdone it.  
He had pushed Sam, who was trying to help Dean in any way he could, away very harshly at lunchtime.

Now he was more unconscious than alive in front of his bed. To achieve the desired effect he had taken a few tablets after the first Jack Daniels and flushed them down with the second Jack Daniels.  
Meanwhile he had started the fourth bottle and noticed how he lost consciousness. The last thing he noticed was lying on the floor in front of his bed, the empty bottle beside him.  
He had crossed the line excessively and so he muttered only softly "Cas..." Then it got dark.  
Dean couldn't quite make it out. He'd given up.

Sam, who was on his way to his room after being alone in the library all afternoon, passed Dean's room.  
The doors were thick and muffled some noise beyond recognition, but a low rumble heard Sam anyway. Normally he would just keep going, but after Dean's condition and behavior over the last few weeks, he couldn't. He stopped and knocked.  
"Dean? Dean, you okay?" No answer.  
Sam opened the door.

Both Sam and Dean never locked their doors. When they were kids, their father John told them to always lock all the doors. But since they had occupied the bunker, they had broken the habit. When the door was closed, they either knocked or left the other one alone.

"_Oh, no_", Sam thought and ran to his brother.  
"Dean!" He shook him, but Dean didn't answer.   
"Dean! Do you hear me?" he shouted. Then a few seconds later...  
"Cas! I hope you can hear me. No, actually, I know you hear me. Cas, I swear to God, if something serious has happened to Dean because of you, you are screwed. I will find you and then pray that you catch me on a good day!"  
But nothing happened, not a whisper of Castiel to be associated with.

Sam looked for the keys to the Impala, found them on the table in the library, picked them up and went back to Dean. Dean was still on the floor, looking dead.  
Sam picked him up and carried him out in his arms. He knew Dean would not have liked that at all, but he had no choice.

"_Castiel! I'll never forgive you for this_", Sam thought.  
Sure, his brother had been hurt many times, physically and emotionally. He had lost father and mother, had lost Sam, had been in hell, had been saved there and had also lost this saviour. But Castiel, like Sam, had always came back.  
Now that Dean finally admitted to himself how he really was, right now Castiel had to disappear again.

Meanwhile, Sam had arrived at the car. He opened the backseat door and carefully put Dean down. He closed the door, sat in the driver's seat, and drove off.  
The nearest hospital would take care of Dean.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was okay, though?! Leave a comment when you like :)


	7. Thoughts of revenge arise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is in hospital with Dean...

* * *

At the hospital they asked Sam who the patient was, where he was found and if he knew what had happened.

"His name is Dean Winchester. I found him in his room. He seems to have had too much to drink, at least there were whiskey bottles on the floor with him."  
"And you are?"  
"Sam Winchester, his brother. Please, can I see him?"  
"Sure,but he'll be asleep. We have now placed him in a medically induced coma for two days so that he can recover."  
"Thank you."

Sam turned around and went into the room where his brother was lying. He had to swallow because he hardly recognised his brother.  
Dean had been hiding in a lot of laundry lately. But now in the hospital bed Sam could see how thin his brother had become.

"Dean, I don't know if you can hear me, but you got to get better!  
You can't just leave me alone and go. Without saying goodbye first. I mean, come on, I'm your brother. You can talk to me. There's a solution for every problem. And I certainly don't mean drowning yourself in alcohol or using the object that matches our last name.  
I mean talk about it, think about it, work out solutions!"

There would be no reaction from Dean, Sam knew that, but he wanted to say it anyway.  
Actually, everyone knew how close Sam and Dean were, but very few had been able to understand that neither of them could live without the other.  
Even when they fought, blood is still thicker than water.

"_Oh, Dean_", Sam thought, "_Cas will regret this._"

"Sam Winchester? Go." ... "LEAVE!"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curious??


	8. The return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is with Dean, gets a visitor then...

* * *

Scared, Sam turned around. He had not heard the new visitor coming.  
Behind him was Castiel.  
Sam opened his eyes and stared at the angel. The angel had bruises and small, partially still bleeding wounds on his face. The white shirt was stained with blood, too.

"What in God's name happened?", Sam brought it out quietly.

"Just go", was Castiel's response. His voice was not very friendly, and Sam left the room in surprise.  
No sooner was he out, Castiel quietly but clearly closed the door. He also lowered the blinds that allowed a view into the hospital hallway. It was clear he did not want to be disturbed.

Now that he was alone, he pulled a chair by Dean's bed and looked at the motionless body.  
"Dean..." Actually, he wanted to say more, but his voice broke. Carefully, he took Dean's hand.  
"I know you can't hear me, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come to this. You don't have to forgive me, but there's something else that needs to be worked out. So please, Dean, fight and come back. And if not for me, then at least for Sam. Your brother needs you!" With tear-filled eyes, he lowered his head and shook it slightly.  
"_What have I done_", he thought, "_what have I done?_"

***

A few days later, after the doctors had brought Dean out of the coma, Sam was the first to visit him. Castiel had respectfully let the brother go ahead and planned to visit Dean the next day. 

Dean looked like he was asleep when Sam came into the room. With relief, he realized that all the tubes had disappeared.  
"Dean?", he asked quietly and went over to his brother's bed.

"Hey, Sammy."

"Oh, thank God, you're awake!" Laughing and crying at the same time, Sam bent over the bed and held Dean as tight as he could.

"Hey, princess, no crying."

Acting outrage, Sam let go of his brother and punched him lightly in the arm.  
"Back to your old self again, huh?", he asked. Then, more seriously than before, he looked at Dean. "What was that all about? You can't just do something stupid like that."

"Sammy, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking either. I really appreciate you bringing me here." Dean smiled at his brother. "I'm still tired. Let's talk about it when I get home."

"Dean, you know that's not gonna happen!"

"But, Sam, I mean it this time!"

"Okay", Sam said, nodded briefly and left the room. After a while, Dean fell asleep again.

***

The next morning he woke up again. He looked around his room. Looking to the right, he saw Castiel asleep, leaning against the wall, sitting on one of the visitor chairs.

"Cas?", he asked quietly, not sure if he was still dreaming. Castiel woke immediately and came to Dean's bedside. Dean closed his eyes. "Man, where have you been?", Dean asked sadly.

Castiel reached for Dean's hand. Dean didn't pull his away, being glad, somehow, of the familiar warmth.  
"It's a long story", said the angel, exhausted. Dean had not expected this, opened his eyes and was startled when he saw Castiel up close.

"What happened to you?", he asked in a panic, trying to sit up. The small wounds healed already and the bruises turned greenish yellow.  
Castiel pressed him gently but firmly down. "I'm fine. Please don't be upset."  
"That's not what it looks like. What happened?" Dean felt helpless. He wanted to be angry, but when he saw his friend...

"Dean, this is not something you should be dealing with just yet. Just get better."

"Don't deal with it yet? When else am I gonna do it? When it's too late?"

"Dean, please..." Castiel paused to look at the older brother. "Okay", he finally said.

Castiel sat back down in his chair. Just as he was about to start talking about what had happened, a nurse came in with lunch. She put it down without a word and walked out again. Dean, who was not hungry at all, pushed the table aside and indicated to Castiel that he could talk now.

"All right, well..." Castiel lowered his head and laid his hands in his lap. He knew they were shaking and he didn't want Dean to see it. "I am banished from heaven forever. I am forbidden to return there or to approach the portal. If I do, the guards are hired to kill me."  
Dean saw Castiel's shoulders tremble. The angel wept. Dean had never seen it before and was shocked. Then he recollect.

"Cas", he said almost in a whisper, and the angel looked up. Dean had moved to the edge of his bed and indicated to Castiel to come to him.  
Exhausted, Castiel stood up, took off his trench coat and lay down with Dean. He put his head under Dean's chin and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Dean pressed him to him. Castiel cried softly and Dean let him. He knew only too well what it felt like to lose his family, his home. Eventually, Castiel had calmed down somewhat and started talking again.

"They asked me how I was doing, what I was doing. But I don't think anyone was really happy to see me. Naomi and her companions got aggressive when I told them about us. I was taught to be honest and so I told them how I really felt about you." Dean wanted to ask more about that statement, but then he left it alone.  
"_We can talk about that later_", he thought.

"They led me away like a prisoner", Castiel continued. "They put me in a cell and hurt me. They said I was a disgrace to heaven. I was like a sin, and if I didn't convert, I would know that sins were punished. When I showed no understanding, they put a total of four angels to watch over me. When Naomi realized that despite the torture I was only getting physically weaker, she ordered her people to let me go. They left me alone and wounded.  
But that was not the worst of it. These cells are usually equipped so that no signal or sign goes in or out. But my cell was prepared to allow signals to get in. So I listened to your prayers to me, could see how broken you were, but did not have the ability or strength to send you a sign."  
He sobbed softly. Dean, who had closed his eyes to suppress his own tears, pressed Castiel to himself. He knew he would never let 'his' angel go!  
"This was the worst torture ever inflicted on me. And it's all because I was honest and told them I love you." This is where Castiel fell silent. He hadn't paid much attention in the last minutes, but now he realized Dean was completely still. He pushed himself up on his elbows, looking at Dean.

His lower lip trembled violently and from the corners of his closed eyes came tears that looked like little streams.  
"_Oh, dear_", Castiel thought, "_what have I done now?_"

"Hey", Castiel said softly and nudged the others slightly. Dean took a trembling breath but kept his eyes closed. They both knew that Dean was not the one talking openly about his feelings.  
"Dean," Castiel said as softly as before.

"For me you are no shame, no sin", Dean muttered slightly shaky.  
"You are the greatest gift anyone could ever give me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I love you too, more than you can imagine."  
He opened his eyes and looked directly into Castiel's.

"_Still beautiful_", he thought, and now he didn't care.  
He had imagined this moment very differently, especially not in a hospital, but they were both here, they were alone, and Castiel had told him that he loved him.  
Either Castiel didn't notice, or he didn't want to notice, but when Dean raised his arm, he didn't even flinch.

Dean pulled Castiel down with him. The tension, which could have been measured just now, it was almost instantaneous.  
The kiss was more than they had ever dreamed. They were completely lost in eachother, time and space no longer mattered. Only when they couldn't breathe did they separate.  
They looked at each other breathlessly. Then they smiled. Castiel was lying almost completely on top of Dean, however that happened.  
The angel wrapped both arms around the hunter's shoulders and neck. He gave Dean a brief but distinct kiss on the cheek, then buried his face half on Dean's neck, half in the mattress.  
Dean was overjoyed, and he pressed Castiel against him. It was clear to both of them that this was not gonna be just the one kiss.

***

When Sam stopped by Dean's again late in the afternoon, he realized he didn't have to come.  
His brother and the angel lay sleeping and snuggled up close together in the hospital bed, which was actually much too small.

When Sam, after going out, told the nurse in charge that Dean was now sleeping again and should not be disturbed, he left the hospital again and could not help smiling.  
"_At last_", he thought and got into the Impala.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to mention here just once that it is a story and I wrote Naomi (and heaven) for it like this.  
I am an absolute opponent of homophobic statements and persons!


	9. The (not so) new life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at the bunker...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter.

* * *

A few months later the lives of the three had returned to normal  
They continued to live in the bunker, searched for cases, saved people, hunted things, ate, drank, slept or met in bars to toast a successful hunt. Until then everything was like before. But a few things had changed...

Sam had come home one night with a young woman. He introduced her to Dean and Castiel as Eileen and then took her to the library.  
The next morning, while they were sitting at the table in the kitchen, Sam told them that he and Eileen had met on a case before Dean went to the hospital. They'd been seeing each other regularly ever since.

At some point during the conversation, Dean asked his brother why Eileen didn't talk and just watched her.  
"She's deaf, but she reads lips when we talk."

Dean and Castiel's eyebrows shot up at the same time. When he heard her giggle, Sam turned to Eileen.  
"They're so cute, those two", she said to Sam.  
"Yes, aren't they?!", Sam answered her in sign language, smiling.  
"What did she mean?", asked Dean, not quite sure if he liked the situation or not. Sam winked at him and shrugged his shoulders.

Dean shook his head slightly, but then had to smile.  
He looked at Eileen first, then Sam, then Castiel put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. He had his family around him, and he was happy.

***

Castiel was sleeping at Dean's every night now. The two were very happy, the second bedside table at Dean's bed finally had an owner. And when Dean and Castiel did not devote themselves to the things couples do, they would lie close together and talk. More than before and Dean would never admit it to Sam, but he loved it.  
Telling each other what they'd done when their partner wasn't around.  
Dean also loved when Castiel would hold him and talk softly in Enochian. He could barely understand anything, but he always became very calm and felt carefree.

Castiel had asked to speak with him again about two weeks after Dean's release from the hospital.  
He had explained to him that the day before he visited him in the hospital, he noticed that one of the guards had left the cell door open. Castiel had seized the opportunity and fled.  
He should have known it was a trick.  
At the portal back to Earth, Naomi was waiting. She had looked down at him and said: "You're going to run to him now, aren't you? Well, I won't stop you, no one here could ever really do that. But I'll tell you one thing. If you leave now, you won't be able to come back. The guards will kill you. She was silent for a moment, but then she talked again. "Oh, and Castiel... it will take your grace away. There is no room in our midst for traitors!"  
Castiel walked into the white light without a word, already made his choice.

After Castiel told Dean, he had come towards him. Overwhelmed with feelings he had never known before. The conversation had led to their first night together.  
Afterwards, Dean had pulled Castiel, who was still slightly out of breath, to himself. He pushed Cas' chin up far enough to look him in the eye.  
"Cas, buddy, human or angelic, you'll always be an angel to me!"

\- The end -

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, my story. Feel free to leave comments on how you find it.  
Thank you <3


End file.
